From Day 1

We all know what day one means. Or from day one, I really should say.  Sentimental I am, ill-advisedly, and in hindsight, I should have known from day one what it all would mean.  Back in the days, boys used to offend my chastity and say, "If you don't use it now, cobwebs will grow all around it!" Hmph.  They were not right, but they were not exactly wrong either.  Well, I think what was optimal was what my Kentucky bred Dibbs (Daddy) used to randomly say and suggest to me in my early twenties...."Having babies is for the young." 
   As I moved through my twenties the rest of all my mother's huge litter (love you  'Ma) would tease and predict...."Guess who's havin' a baby---fifty-years-old!!!??....Yeah! Boo(my beloved urban nickname)!" They too were so very wrong and almost right.  Forty-years-old.  Ten years into an all-too-often-missed diagnosis of endometrosis after a 1999 laparascopic exploration showing no chocolate cysts--just lots of the dreaded cobwebs. Many years of supplements organic gardening, knitting, fasting, raw juicing and running from my husband's DNA.  I would say that these tactics were all worth it, they helped me survive and even get pregnant. Once.  That pregnancy became a huge learning experience that one day I will soon share with my virtual audience if you really really want me to.  In fact, I am so thankful for that experience because so many of my friends who are chasing fertility have never had the sublime privilege of being pregnant.
    Here on Day 2, I blog because have finally decided to descend into the Jetsonian pit of IVF. (Naw, do Black people do that junk? one person says....But its soo unnatural, my chocolate guy says).  After much melodrama, avoidance and conflict.  Long after not liking: the idea of culturing my babies in horse serum, or the last reproductive endocrinologist and that crazy miscarriage I had with him or trying to explain to my husband what in the world that last MRI was for....to.... I  cannot afford that.  To are we really to old to adopt?  To tired of living in utter stillness after work, hobbies, religion, volunteering and friends who really do have to go home. I am ready. In a protracted midtermitis as a student nurse midwife.  I am ready
     Tomorrow is Day 3...for the first lab draw in a long series of lab draws that may lead to what 'Ma says will be for certain three babies.  I dunno.  I will take one.  I will even just take my best shot because endo is fast on my heels and pregnancy in my size 6 waist case may stretch out any adhesions in my bod and give me a rest. I need a rest because symptomatic endo is beyond pain.  And I need some crazy lil brown babies with protuberant backsides and pouty lips running aroud here.  So back to tomorrow. To check my "ovarian reserve".... or the "are you in menopause yet test"for FSH (follicular stimulating hormone), I will go in before work and really hope that the menopause that endometriosis had me praying for has not yet descended upon me....I hope its not too late....
To be continued,
The Chocolate Cyster